Therapy for Relationships That Don’t Fit the Mold—But Still Deserve to Thrive
Couples therapy for queer, neurodivergent, kinky, or polyamorous relationships

Let’s Be Real: Love Is Beautiful, But it Can Also Be SO Hard

You want connection, not just coexisting.

You want to feel seen, held, wanted, not stuck in the same dead-end fights, circling the same drain.

Maybe it looks like this:

• You’ve paused mid-argument thinking, "How did we end up here again?"

• You send the carefully worded text you edited 17 times, then brace yourself for the storm.

• You watch them scroll through their phone while you try to talk about something that matters.

• You’ve googled “polyamory rules,” “how to stop being jealous,” or “are we just incompatible” more times than you’ll admit.

You’re exhausted. But you’re not done. You still care. That’s why you’re here.

This isn’t just about learning better communication skills. It’s about unlearning the survival strategies that once kept you safe, but now keep you stuck.

It’s about figuring out what this relationship really needs — and deciding together how to build it, or whether to let it go.

That might mean repairing and reconnecting. Or it might mean making the call to end things with clarity and kindness.

Either way, we slow it way down. We get under the surface. We map what’s actually going on — not just the symptoms, but the system you’re stuck in — and we start to shift it.

Together.

Sound Familiar?

💥 You’re in the kitchen again. The fight started over leftovers but now you’re both screaming about six years of feeling unseen — and neither of you even likes lasagna.

💥 You lie awake next to them, scrolling TikTok, pretending everything’s fine. You could reach out. Say anything. But you don’t. And neither do they.

💥 You finally worked up the nerve to say, “What if we opened things up?” They laughed. You laughed, too. But your stomach dropped, the conversation died, and two days later you’re in a fight that started with a text typo and ended with, “Why am I not enough for you?!”

💥 You said you forgave them. Swore you did. But somehow, every fight circles back to that thing they did, and the resentment still tastes like blood in your throat.

💥 You keep explaining the ADHD thing, the executive dysfunction, the why-can’t-I-just text-you-back — and they nod, but their eyes glaze over, and you feel like a walking burden

💥 You keep trying to explain your brain — why you freeze, why you forget, why that comment hit so hard — but it lands like a bomb.

💥 You're the “organized one,” the “one who takes everything too seriously,” the one holding it all together while your brain short-circuits and your partner just asks, "Why are you aways so edgy?"

💥 One of you shuts down. The other blows up. They say you’re too sensitive. You say they’re emotionally unavailable. You're both right. Every hard conversation ends in a crash — slammed doors, cold shoulders, the kind of silence that echoes louder than a scream.

💥 You have a “favorites” folder full of kink quizzes, articles about compersion, and reels on secure attachment. You watch them at 2AM, alone, and wonder if you’ll ever send them even one.

💥 You’re always the one pulling this relationship out of the fire — reading the books, initiating the talks, dragging the dead weight of “emotional growth” while they roll their eyes. You cry in the shower, then say, “I’m just tired.”

💥 The fights are never about what they’re really about. They start with a text left on read and end with someone screaming, “You never listen to me!” Someone slams a door. Someone sobs on the floor.

💥 You’re jealous, and ashamed of being jealous. You say you’re cool with their other partners or friends — but you’re secretly spiraling every time they come home tipsy and late. You say, “I’m fine” when you’re absolutely not, then pick a fight about oat milk because you don't know how to say, “I feel left out.” Again.

💥 You try to explain how your culture shaped you — how love, anger, and loyalty look different where you’re from. But your gringo partner just blinks and asks, “Wait… why is that such a big deal?”

💥 You know you love them. But it feels like you’re white-knuckling your way through every week, hoping next Sunday’s check-in doesn’t blow up yet again.

If you’re reading this and thinking, “Yep, that’s us,” you're not broken and you're not “bad at love.”

You're just long overdue for a better way to do things.

Let’s stop pouring fuel on the fire and start building something that lasts.

How I Help

This isn’t therapy where I sit back, nod stoicly, and ask how that makes you feel while you bleed out emotionally. Nah.

This is therapy for couples who are done pretending “date night” is going to fix what’s actually a breakdown in trust, communication, or emotional safety.

It’s for people who are tired of the same recycled fights, the icy silences, the explosive blowups, the awkward post-sex disconnect. For couples who love each other — or want to — but are drowning in misfires, mismatches, and unmet needs.

Whether you’re poly or monogamish, kinky or vanilla, neurodivergent or allistic, queer or questioning or straight as an arrow, cross-cultural or just completely confused — I help you stop the emotional whiplash and start building real, solid connection.

Together, we’ll:

🔧 Unpack the mess. The misfires, the triggers, the “why do we keep doing this?” loops. The thing you've been avoiding talking about but is beneath every blow-out? Oh yeah- we go there.

🔧 Repair the damage. That old betrayal, that offhand comment, that thing you said in a fight two years ago that still echoes in the bedroom — we actually deal with it.

🔧 Build tools you’ll use in real life. Not worksheets. Not psychobabble. Actual communication skills for when one of you shuts down and the other blows up.

🔧 Create a shared language. For sex. For love. For needs, boundaries, neurospicy brains, cultural nuance, kink, jealousy, all of it.

🔧 Get radically honest. Not just “how are you feeling?” but “what do we do if this relationship isn’t working anymore — and how can we fix it, or leave, with clarity and care?”

My Approach

I draw from several proven couples therapy schools plus direct-as-can-be real talk — all through a trauma-informed, kink-aware, neurodivergent-affirming, sex-positive, culturally-conscious lens.

• Attachment-Based & Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT): To decode the messy, raw stuff under your biggest fights — like why “Do you still love me?” feels like a ticking time bomb

• Somatic & Mindfulness Tools: To help your nervous system stop freaking out and start feeling safe in your partner’s presence again

• Family Systems Therapy: To unravel the old roles and inherited stories that turn one forgotten text into an anxiety spiral about abandonment

• CBT, Skills-Based, and Communication Tools: For when you just need something that works mid-fight, not just after the fact — like how to interrupt the blowup before it happens

👉 I also bring experience working with neurodivergent couples. Learn more about my ADHD approach, or why a trauma-informed lens matters.

You Promised No Psychobabble. What Does That All Actually Mean?

It means we slow things down enough to stop the train before it crashes. We get curious about the deeper stuff under the reactions. We help your body (and nervous system) trust again. And we build your capacity to show up — not just for each other, but for yourself in this relationship.

When we’re done, you’ll know how to:

💡 De-escalate fast — before it turns into a three-day grudge match

💡 Say what you feel and ask for what you need, without flinching

💡 Make each other feel safe instead of walking on eggshells

💡 Navigate sex, trauma, identity, neurodivergence, and culture without shame or confusion

💡 Decide (together) what kind of relationship you’re building — and how to actually get there

This is real-deal relationship repair. The kind that doesn’t rely on hope or good vibes alone.

You bring the courage. I’ll bring the map.

What It Could Feel Like Instead

You don't have to settle for just "fine." Let's get your relationship to a place where:

💫 You’re on the couch, post-fight. It doesn't feel great, but this time nobody stormed out. Nobody cried alone in the bathroom. You made it through. And, whether you know it or not, you’re actually closer for it.

💫 You say the scary thing — the real thing — fully bracing for them to blow up or bail. But instead, they lean in for a hug and go, “Thanks for telling me.” You blink, stunned.

💫 You finally send that kink quiz. Not only are they into it — they’re already planning next Friday around Question 17. You didn’t even know you were allowed to feel this turned on and safe at the same time.” You’re blushing. You're BEAMING. You feel brave. You feel HOT. You feel seen.

💫 You forgot the thing again (gaaaah). Your ADHD brain dropped the ball. But instead of shame and side-eyes, they just said, “Want me to help you set a reminder next time?” And you don’t feel like a broken robot.

💫 You brought up the hard thing. And instead of shutting down or blowing up, they actually heard you. No deflection. No guilt trip. Just growth.

💫 Your fights? They still happen. But no one ends up sobbing in the shower. No one’s walking on eggshells for three days. You fight, repair, reconnect, and actually learn something.

💫 You said, “I feel so bad saying this, but I'm jealous and I hate that.” They didn’t freak out. They asked, “What helps you feel safe and okay?” You almost sobbed, this time from relief. And just like that, jealousy isn’t a ticking bomb — it’s a conversation.

💫 Your cultural differences are still there — but now your partner is curious, not clueless. They’re learning how to love you in your language.

💫 You finally felt safe enough to say what really drives you wild in bed. And they actually listened. No shame. No shutdown. Just, “Hell. Yes.”

💫 You used to spiral. Now you self-check. You used to beg for connection. Now, it’s just there. You don’t feel like you’re doing emotional labor in a vacuum anymore — you feel like an actual team.

This isn’t some fake fairy tale Pinterest board version of love. It’s the gritty, gorgeous kind you earn by showing up, doing the work, and getting in the ring — not to fight each other, but to fight for the relationship.

Ready to stop surviving your relationship and actually start living in it?

Let’s get you there.